20 Week Ultrasound

I love Seasons, I really do.  But boy, they constantly full!  Well, you can see their doctors pretty regularly, but getting into their ultrasound techs is a feat.  I should have learned though my last ultrasound, you need to book these things in advance, but I didn't.  SO. The last week of December (when I am 21 weeks along, I call to schedule the anatomy ultrasound. Of course, they were booked a month in advance, so I had them put me on a waiting list to be called as soon as something pops up, even if it is last minute.  They called me on Monday and told me they had something come up the next day at 4. DONE! I would be one day shy of 23 weeks -- perfect timing if you ask me.  I have a love/hate relationship with this ultrasound.  I always fear of what could be detected at this ultrasound, but I love, love, LOVE seeing my babe too.  Everything looked fine, until the end when she checked the heart.  When you listen and watch the heart, there is an obvious stutter.  You can see it and hear it.  I turned to her and said totally nonchalantly, "Oh. Yeah. This is like a heart murmur. Totally common."  She just replied with a, "Kinda. I am just going to have the doctor come in and talk to you,"  I looked and Trent and couldn't read his expression.  So I just nodded.  After she listened to the heart about 3 more times, had me turn on my side, and took quite a lot of pictures of the heart, she went outside and got the doctor.  This doctor is new, and has been there for about 6 months.  I don't know if he is new to the OBGYN practice or just new to Seasons. Regardless, he came in and said there seemed to be something irregular with the baby's heart and that we would need to go down to the High Risk Pregnancy Center in Idaho Falls and see a heart doctor and do more testing. I was pretty surprised. But I plastered a smile on my face.  I think the doctor was surprised with how well I was taking it. I think he felt the need to be more serious, which made me feel the need to be more optimistic.  I asked him what the thought and he said, "Sometimes these situations end up being completely fine and other times they end more serious.  I don't know what to expect with this one." I am kinda bummed we had such an awful first encounter.  I mean, he could deliver my baby and I don't love him like I do the other two doctors. Heck, I want Lovell again!.  Also, if this ends up to be nothing -- I don't know how serious I can take this guy in the future.  He didn't give me an ounce of hope or optimism.  He was just straight with me.  Now, I don't mind forward people, but throw in a statistic -- tell me your professional opinion and past experiences -- give me SOMETHING to go on.   I feel okay. When we walked out of the office, Trent simply said, "I'm really worried."  And then after a few minutes of silence so we could collect our thoughts Trent said, "We are not going to worry about it until we know more.  That's all we can do."  And that's it.  I will set up the appointment tomorrow and hopefully within a week we will know more.  I feel at peace, I feel confident, but there is still some doubt pulling at the back of my mind.