Think Less - And Act More

I witnessed a miracle today.  Today was our last day as primary teachers.  I seriously have LOVED this calling.  At first I was a little hesitant but they seriously stole my heart.  As we started the lesson, we had a knock at the door.  It was the Primary president with a visitor.

“This is your class for today.” she said, “And what was your name?”

The little boy just took his fingers and rang then across his lips as if to say, “zzziiiiiiiipppppp!” But he didn’t say a word. 

“That’s okay!” I chimed in.  The president just shrugged her shoulders and walked out.  A few minutes later she came back inside.

 “His mother just informed me that his name is Chris” she confirmed. {For the purpose of being respectful I will use an alias name and call him Chris.}

“Alright, buddy – pal – my main man Chris.” I said.  I know – I am weird, but I was just trying to get the kid to smile!

We continued the lesson and talked about Zion’s Camp. We watched a video that illustrated the events and every so often I would stop and ask the children questions.  About halfway through the video, I stopped the video and asked the students, “What were the men eating on the trail?”

“Powwije.” Christ blurted out.  I tried to hide the excitement/confusion/surprise on my face.  My brain quickly registered that he had tried to say porridge. 

“Awesome, Chris! That is exactly it! It was mushy grey porridge!” I was trying to validate his statement to help him feel comfortable. 

Later in the lesson, I turned to Chris and said, “And who was giving the men those blessings?” He just pointed up.  I said, “Yes, your right just say who you are talking about.”  He quickly shook his head no. “Do you mean Heavenly Father?” I asked.  He nodded his head yes and I again told him he was right and that was an excellent answer.

The lesson continued on and it went smoothly.  At the end I closed by bearing my testimony. Our lesson today was on trials I ended with saying, “Ya know.  I am a 4^th grade teacher.  As you know I just finished student teaching and I witnessed a lot of trials that 4^th graders have to face.  I have seen kids struggle because their parents are getting a divorce.  I have seen children who have been abused, children who have had a speech impairment, and children who…… are deaf.”  Now let me back up and tell you my train of thought.  I said speech impairment because I thought Chris wasn’t speaking because of a speech impairment. I thought he had a lisp or something similar and was embarrassed to speak in front of people.  But I didn’t want to end my statement looking at him and saying, “SOME children have a speech impairment.” So in my mind, I was like crap – now what do I say.  The next word that popped into my mind was “deaf.”  After I said it thought, “Wow. You’re a genius.  If a student was deaf – he wouldn’t even be at your school so obviously that was the dumbest example ever.”  But I just continued on and said, “And some of you may be experiencing those trials now, but I just want you to know that although trials stink, Heavenly Father is preparing you. I told Katie Heavenly Father was preparing her to be a great missionary. That although she may be shy she would be able to connect with people and help them learn the gospel.  I told Spencer that his knowledge and love for Heavenly Father was contagious.  I went around to every child and praised them for being here, and reminded them of their greatness and potential.  Then it was Chris’s turn.  I told him that he was going to do awesome things in his lifetime.  He quickly shook his head “no.”  I told him he was wrong.  That he was in store for great things – but he had to believe in himself.  He had to believe that Heavenly Father would help him and to not let fear or insecurities dictate his life. I think he needed to hear that. I ended by telling them that Heavenly Father loved them.  And I told them that Brother Thompson and I loved them.  I reminded them they were never alone because they had a cheering section and love oozing out of our hearts for them. 

We closed by saying the prayer and then I busted out the candy.  Hey, it’s our last week – we deserve a celebration, right?! So I told the kids that in order to get their candy they would have to come up to me and show me their biggest smile they would wear as they faced the trials of the week – and they had to give me a hug.  Each child came up and gave me the best smile and the biggest hug.  Chris was the last one to come up.  He gave me a half smile.

“Chris! I want to see those pearly white teeth!”  I said in my funniest, weirdest voice. He broke a smile and then gave me a big hug. As I handed him the gummy worms, he looked at me a little funny.

“Did you know?” he said.  I could tell he was trying his best to speak normal.  But he sounded different – and I couldn’t figure out why.

“Know what?” I responded.

“Did you know I was deaf?”  I literally sat there stunned. The room was completely quiet. Everyone was looking at me. 

“No, I had no idea.”  Now I was the one stuttering. 

“I am deaf and I can’t speak well.”  He pointed to his throat and said something else but I didn’t understand the last part.

“Ah, Chris” I said, “come here!”  I gave him another hug and said, “I honestly had no idea.  Ya see, that stuff doesn’t matter to me.  It must be hard but I never want you to be embarrassed.   Heavenly Father loves you and so do I.  You have so much to offer.  Don’t let that dictate how you think of yourself.  Because honestly, I think you are great.”

I hope I don’t come off as “holier than thou” or anything remotely close to that.  Because, guys, I am not that great.  I am writing this because this is an experience/feeling I NEVER want to forget.  I always ask Heavenly Father to use me.  I want to be the instrument in His hands. This is the first time, in a long time, that I felt like an instrument in His hands.  I felt that love for the little boy.  I had known him for 40 minutes.  But I loved him.  And I loved him because Christ loved him.  He helped me feel that love for him and then express it in a way that he needed to hear it.  But Heavenly Father helped me feel and express those emotions.  He is the one who put the word “deaf” in my mind.  He knows that I usually speak before I think and would say anything that came into mind ;).  It was a miracle.  I know that little boy needed to hear those words. That boy thought I knew him personally.  But the truth was that I didn’t – Heavenly Father did. 

Afterwards, we left for sharing time and then he left at the end of church.  All those kids stole a piece of my heart today.  I swear about half the children in Utah have a piece of my heart. Today I witnessed a small, but meaningful miracle.  I hope that I do what I did today:

Think Less – And Act More

When I feel inspired to sit by someone, I start to think, “Oh that would be weird, you don’t know her.”  Or I feel impressed to call someone and then I think, “She probably hates you because you haven’t talked to her in months.”  It is those doubtful thoughts that keep me from being an instrument in the Lord’s hands.  I just need to act on it!  So I guess what I am trying to say is maybe if we just acted on our good thoughts, we would be able to witness more small but meaningful miracles.

Think Less – And Act More.