Everyone has been so sweet to me. I have had so many texts, phone calls, and messages asking me how I have been doing. And although postpartum as been my least favorite thing in the entire world, I am being pampered by two wonderful mothers. The one who was really struggling was Trent. He has been so involved in this whole process. It is quite impressive actually. He is completely smitten by Porter... and completely worried.
I knew from the beginning I would put Porter in the nursery every night we were in the hospital. Trent was really reluctant though. But after some convincing, we sent Porter to the nursery just four hours after I delivered him. The next day the nurses brought him back into the room around 6. He had slept for six hours! Obviously Porter and I have the same priorities. Nonchalantly, the nurses mentioned that during the night Porter had stopped breathing and turned blue. They had to put an oxygen mask over his face and suck extra amniotic fluid from his lungs. They just handed him to me and said, "If he starts choking, use this." It was a suction bulb. Cue panic attacks every night for the next week. We brought him home around 8 p.m. on a Sunday. That night, Trent sat next to his bassinet with his back against the nightstand. I woke up to him still sitting there at 3 a.m. just watching Porter as his head bobbed up and down. It took some coaxing, but I promised Trent that Porter was going to make it. Trent finally went to bed. But frequently I would get a nudge and hear him say, "Will you make sure he is still breathing?" So I would put my hand on his tummy and feel his little lungs fill with air.
I hated taking Porter to get his jaundice tests. His whole foot was black and blue from them squeezing the blood from his heel. It was awful. Porter would cry. I would cry. It was a mess. So Trent would take him... by himself. I would never do that. Someone always had to be with me. But he would let me shower and say he wanted some "man time" with Porter.
I really could go on and share a dozen more stories of how Trent has pushed himself to the limit this last week to be a better husband and father. I have had to remind myself of these moments because Trent and I have a different relationship now. It's not bad, it is just different. And selfishly I sometimes miss Trent and I. Our late night games and long talks in bed. Our walks at the park and relaxing on the grass by the temple. Now, we switch turns with Porter and crash with exhaustion at night. Tomorrow Rita is going to watch Porter while we go on a date. I'm really looking forward to that. I love him so much.
I prayed so hard that Porter would come early. I prayed every morning and night for three weeks for one thing... that today would be the day. Of course, at the end of the prayer I would say, "but thy will be done," or "if it be thy will." But of course, I didn't really mean that phrase. I just said it because I thought if I included it in the prayer, Heavenly Father would grant me an early delivery because I asked so nicely.
For nine months I told my mother that most likely she would miss the delivery. I mean, Allegiant flies two days out of the week. I also felt very strongly that he would come early (which he did...barely). So I prepared her and I for a worst case scenario. I probably hurt her feelings. But I really didn't mean too.
A couple days after Porter was born, I was thinking about my mom. All I can say is I am so grateful Heavenly Father didn't listen to me. My family came to visit the evening of July 2nd. The next day I was having contractions that evening. Then Porter was born July 4th. My mother stayed for one week while the rest of my family drove back to Arizona. I could not have survived the first week of postpartum without my mother. With Porter's jaundice and my recovery, I was a mess. A huge mess. Multiple times that week Trent said, "I am so glad your mom's here. We couldn't do it without her." He was right. And Heavenly Father was right. Heavenly Father knew I would need my mom. I cried halfway through the week when I knew she would be leaving soon. I probably cried for an hour. Then when she left, I sat and cried while I held my baby and realized that I have never loved her more.
And let's not forget my angelic mother-in-law. Seriously. How did I get so lucky? I am positive that I have the best mother-in-law. She came right after my mom and has served us continuously. She makes laundry, dishes, and all the other mundane tasks seem like a privilege. Which we all know there are definitely not.
Goodness. What would we do without these wonderful women in our lives.
On July 3rd, 2014, I had an appointment with Doctor Lovell. We were suppose to have the appointment Monday, but I changed the date because I was going to have the doctor break my water that Saturday. My mom was in town and I wanted to optimize her time instead of playing the waiting game that I had done for three weeks. Did I mention I was at a 3 and 90% effaced for about three weeks? And that I had tried everything in the book (except castor oil) and still no baby.
I was a little impatient at this point.
During my visit with the doctor, I had him aggressively sweep my membranes (for the third time), and scheduled an appointment for an induction Saturday morning.
It was about 6 hours later, around 5 p.m. that I felt the early stages of labor. Of course, I didn't know they were the early stages. For me, I didn't know what was a surge and what was the annoying pregnancy pain. I kept saying things like, "I think that was a surge?" But I thought surges were suppose to be in the front abdomen area, and mine were all in the back. Cue signs for upcoming back labor. The waves of pain were the only sign that led me to believe they were true surges. My family and I went to Olive Garden and the surges were anywhere between 7-25 minutes apart. So again, I was frustrated because I was positive this was just another episode of false labor.
We went to bed that night. I was hopeful that maybe I would wake up in the middle of the night due to pain or my water releasing. No such luck. I slept like a baby and woke up the next day discouraged. I felt great. We went to the Fourth of July parade and I felt mild surges/contractions but nothing consistent. After the parade, my family and I went back to our apartments and relaxed while Trent went to get the canoes we had rented for Rigby Lake. During this time (around 1), they became a little more consistent but I could still talk and walk through them fine. However, my wise mother insisted that because they were getting consistent we shouldn't head out canoeing on a lake. Of course, I think I can handle anything so I insist that we go. But she made an executive decision and called Trent to let him know what was going on. Trent was on her side. Instead, my family went to Bear World while Trent and I went to lunch and then searched for ammo and clay pigeons so the boys could go shooting afterwards. We ate at the delicious Millhollow (our last meal together), and drove around. Again, they were coming pretty strong but I would just use my Hypnobirthing strategies and it made everything completely bearable.
We got home around 3 or 3:30 p.m. They were definitely stronger and more consistent than before. I called my family to let them know that I would probably go to the hospital in a hour or so. Yeah. That lasted 10 minutes before I told Trent we were going now. He rushed around for those last minute supplies and we left. We arrived at the hospital around four. We didn't tell anyone we were at the hospital because I was so afraid we were going to be told to go home. When she told me I was at a 5, I was so relieved. This was it. We were actually going to have a baby! Trent called both sets of parents and gave them the update. It was so surreal.
Probably the second worst part of labor was them asking me so many questions while in labor. All I wanted was to get into the glorious tub or bounce on the birthing ball. Instead, I had to lay their strapped. I know it is totally necessary, but it was miserable.
I was on the ball for a couple of minutes and then I was in the birthing tub they have at the hospital for the rest of the time. I don't think I will ever go to a hospital that does not have a birthing tub. It was amazing. Within an hour, I was at a 7. After another hour, I was at an 8. Then another hour later, I was at a 10. Seriously, I don't think I could have been at a 10 with no epidural if it wasn't for Hypnobirthing. It was awesome. Unfortunately, I was at a 10 and my water still had not broken. I really wanted the doctor to come in and break my water. But the doctor said he wouldn't come in until the head was showing. And this is where sheer panic set in. Although the pain was intense, it was mostly the fear of being in labor for forever because my water would. not. break. I looked at Trent and he saw the fear in my eyes. We decided to get the epidural to help me get through this last part.
The anesthesiologist came in and explained that because I was so far along, he would could give me more to help it work faster. No, thank you. I told him I was just wanted the lightest dosage he could give me. Within 15 minutes, I could no longer feel the pain. Instead, it was more of just pressure. Because my dosage was not too extreme, I could move my feet and legs the entire time. I could also tell when a contraction was coming and could push as I felt needed. Honestly, it was perfect. It just took the edge off I needed.
Thirty minutes into pushing, my water started coming out. Like, I was pushing it out and it still wasn't breaking. I had "delivered" about 3/4 of my water sac when it finally burst. Oh, but there was another little sac attached to the larger sac that didn't burst. So I had to push that one out as well. It was really weird.
Things moved rather fast after that. So fast, that I had to stop pushing and wait for the doctor to get there. Seriously, that would not have been possible without an epidural. Even with the epidural, my body urged me to push because I could feel each surge.
About 20 minutes after my water finally broke, our little boy was delivered by Trent and Doctor Lovell.
Trent told the doctor that he wanted to be apart of the birthing process as much as possible. So the doctor dressed him in a gown and gloves. Trent grabbed the head as it came out, turned the head, then he had Trent maneuver the shoulders out and finally pull his body out the entire way. Seriously. Trent did ALL of it. It was all he could talk about. He was so proud. So was I.
Leland Porter Thompson was born at 9:40 p.m. at 8lbs. and 5 oz. He was delivered during the Madison County Firework Show and then later watched the finale all bundled up with his Daddy. Seriously, it was so surreal to see fireworks outside my hospital window as he was being delivered. He is definitely a special little boy.
Although I did aim for a natural birth, I am not disappointed or disheartened with how everything turned out. I don't blame my doctor for not coming in to break my water. He knew it would break on its own. And it did! Plus, I know it sounds absolutely ridiculous, but I felt bad for making him come in on the 4th of July. I know it's part of his job, but I was the only one in the hospital. And he was so awesome to let Trent do so much. It all worked out in the end.
Also, Hypnobirthing was awesome. People comment how lucky I was for such a short labor, but I honestly believe that those techniques had something to do with it. Maybe it wasn't the entire reason for my quick delivery, but I really felt like I was working with my body and Porter. Trent and my mom had no idea when I was going through a contraction. I was that motionless and calm all the way to a 10. My cue to Trent was, "Pressure, please" and he knew exactly what to do. But honestly, let's be thankful for modern medicine too. That epidural came at exactly the right moment and helped me finish strong. And what really matters is that he is absolutely perfect. I mean look at this face...
