First Year of Teaching - Check!

Well.  It is finished.  I have officially completed my first year of teaching.  And just in time for late night throw up sessions, lack of sleep, and constant bathroom trips.  I am just thankful that all started AFTER school ended.  The last week of school is truly pointless. So, I used my 19 wonderful students to clean the ENTIRE classroom from head to toe.  That is another plus with 4th graders... for the most part they know how to clean! I had them take everything out of every drawer, cupboard, and shelf and wipe it all down and put them all back up.  We did the baseboards, blinds, computers, closets, tables, chairs, desks, floors, whiteboards, doors, and ANYTHING they had touched the past year.  It took the entire class 3 hours to thoroughly clean the entire classroom.  Maybe my cleaning standards were a little high.  So they may had to redo some things over and over again.  But it was worth it and it killed some time.  If only it was legal to make them clean my apartment...sigh. So... trying to create and find filler activities for an entire week is quite draining.  So when the last day of school finally came it felt like, "Don't let the door hit you on the way out!"   Don't get me wrong, I still made it fun for them.  We played Minute to Win It Activities.  I gave them each an award with a candy bar.  I wrote personal notes to all 19 students and handed them their notes along with other notes written by their peers. And then they left.  For good. I just sat in my classroom and let it all sit in.  Exhaustion crept over and some slight anxiety about all that needs to happen to prepare for next year.  I was surprised I didn't cry when they left.  Maybe it was because I was waiting for a bell to dismiss them and then realized we were suppose to let them out 5 minutes ago.  I think I had a heart attack as I realized the buses were about to leave without them.  Definitely no time for tears.  But two hours later, as the faculty sat at Pizza Pie Cafe celebrating the end to another great year, it finally hit me.  I think it set in when I realized my dear co-worker and friend was not going to returning next year.  Talia was my go-to for ideas, support, and sanity throughout the year.  {Thank you Kelli for coming back next year - if you left too I think I would loose it!}  Afterwards, I got in the car and called Trent.  Our conversation went something like this: T: "Hey! You did it! You're done! Doesn't it feel great!" Me:  "Yeah, I am! I think I am going to go home and do absolutely nothing for the first time in 9 months." T: "Do it! You deserve it!" I paused fora second and then said... Me: "I am just a little sad, I guess." T: "Why?! Your done! You have time!" Me: "Yeah, but I am really going to miss Talia and..." Here is when the tears start to to form and I have a gigantic lump in my throat.... Me: "my kids." T: "Oh honey, it's okay." It was quiet for a looong time.  Okay maybe only one minute but that is long time to be quiet during a phone conversation.  Finally, I was able to softly whisper. Me: "I really did love them, you know." T: "I know." It's true. I really did love them.  Those times I would leave in the middle of teaching to go throw up in the bathroom and come back to 19 students who decided to pull out a book and read silently at their desk.  They could have talked, walked around, goofed off, or have done anything else!  But instead, they decided to make my life a little easier because they loved me and I loved them. Cosey, Payson, Caleb, James, Jonathan, Sampson, Kaden, Sarah, Bethany, Joshua, Aubree, Angelynn, Cameron, Karlee, Juana, Gage, Juan, Logan, and Keni - you can accomplish anything with hard work.  You have the ability to make this world a better place.  You are important, kind, and intelligent individuals.  But none of that will do you any good unless you never give up and work hard.  I believe in you and I love you.