Learning

While I was sick, I wish I could have been sleeping. But unfortunately that wasn't the situation.  Instead, the situation was three miserable beings taking turns crying to each other and whining (I did my fair share of crying and whining too).  I also wish I could say that I used that precious time to glean and read from the best of resources. But even that took too much energy. So I social media binged for hooours. In between preparing meals and changing diapers and cuddling.    I am trying to figure out this whole "social media" thing. There are some days when I want to Insta Story everything for friends and family far away. And I want to post Instagram posts that are funny and meaningful.  And then there are times when I think, "WHY DO I INSTA STORY EVERYTHING??" I can't tell you how. many. times. I have done an Insta Story - only to think, "Why am  I spending so much time trying to film all these moments instead of just being here?"  It's a balance. One that I am trying to learn.
Well after so much social media I was all fired up. I needed to sign up for a gym tomorrow, make a chore chart, revamp our schedule routine, plan a vacation, mini getaways in between, and turn my very, very small business into a multimillionaire company.  And do it will a grace and an incredibly charming personality.
You guys. I got this.   Luckily, I listened to an Audio Book recently by Sister Dew and Sister Nelson.  SO many wonderful insights were shared. I really do look up to these sisters - and for good reason. They know the gospel. Sheri Dew shared an experience that really influenced me.
She said she was at a luncheon with a group of women.  Now these women were {and still are!} wonderful women of the gospel. Well they were discussing a "hot topic." Each sharing insights and opinions. Then Sheri Dew said, "Well what did you think about Sister Kathy Hughes talk from General Conference?  She brought up some very good points about this exact topic!"
Apparently, everyone kinda looked clueless because no one had listened to that conference. She says, "I could feeling some arousal of emotion because I KNOW the details, inspiration and time it takes to prepare for those." Ha! She then goes on to tell them some of the points and one gal says, "Oh I am definitely going to have to download that talk and read it." And the next sentence that she says is, "But did you hear what Oprah had to say about this subject?"    Interesting, right? Then, Sister Dew said, "Wait a minute, I thought you worked all day? When can you watch Oprah?"   The gal replied, "Well I record the show every day and watch it when I come home."  As Sister Dew said it, "I could not be fully constrained at that point." She then said something along the lines of, "You're telling me that you have time to sit and watch Oprah every night and to make sure that you record every episode. But you can't attend/listen a 90 minute special women's conference that only happens once a year. At which the President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints came and spoke at also for women. A place where we can hear God's word. And where the Relief Society Board addresses us who has a unique stewardship over all the women of the church?"
Now. Obviously this wasn't a bash on Oprah. You can replace Oprah with any other talk show, TV show, podcast, whatever. 
Here is her point: Where are we getting our truth?
Are we getting our truth from our leaders... or are we getting it from those Facebook articles (yeah... that's me).
When dealing with questions, we should first and foremost turn to church leaders and then glean truths from the world. But too often that's not what I do. I read an article and then make a decision based off that article. As a friend said today, when we read we should try to find truths from the scriptures and prophets that compliment what we have read.
The thing that Sheri Dew mentioned was that the world has so many good insights and ideas. But usually truth is mixed in right.  And truth can be confused sometimes.  For me, sometimes I take those Facebook "good feel" articles as truth. But it's not. 
So how does this tie into my social media binge?
Well, I see all those awesome ladies {No, I'm being serious. They're awesome.} at the gym posting about their Orange Therapy (or insert any other workout) and how fabulous it was and how great they feel. Instantly, I'm like - oh man. To feel like that i need to get to the gym and lose allllll that baby weight (I don't want to talk about it). But what's the truth? The truth is the Word of Wisdom. The truth is that we all have different body types. And the truth is if I am really struggling with that, I can turn to Heavenly Father and he can inspire me or bless me with gifts that can help me follow the Word of Wisdom better.
The truth is that all those really great articles I read of business women were inspiring - but I need to find the truth within these articles instead of instantly taking them to heart.
Lately, I have really felt something divine trying to talk to me. But I know to really find the answer to my questions, I need to be studying {not just reading} intently and vigorously praying and really find out what He wants me to know.
The saddest part: the energy that I know the process will entail already has me exhausted. Sometimes reading and praying and studying and just thinking is too much after my day with the kids. We're doers. Our usual day consists of two hours out in the morning and two hours out in the afternoon.  I'm not a homebody during the day - but once it hits five o'clock - you can't make me leave!  But. Today is my commitment to myself and to the Lord that I will do the important things more intently. That all that really has to get done every day is scripture study, prayer, and family home evening. That I will enjoy these moments while I grow - not when I grow. And that I will continue to learn what my journey entails here on Earth. But most importantly, I will learn more about what it means to "become more like Him."