Guide Me

Trent and I are coming up on some decisions that have been on my mind a lot lately.  Most what we are going to do in five months.  I really didn't think we would be faced with options so soon.  I was expecting that two months before we graduate, we would have about 10-15 options to choose from.  And we would carefully and prayerfully chose the best one.   Is it sad I really thought that was reality?   Regardless, I just really want to know that whatever we choose is the right choice.   Which brought back so many memories of choosing to come to BYU-I.  I realized I had never written down the events that brought me here.  And I have NEVER felt the hand of God directing me more in my life than during that time. I just really want that to happen again.   I remember sitting with my friend Samantha senior year during a BYU, BYU-I, BYU-H, and LDS Business College presentation in a large auditorium.  She said she was going to BYU-I and I just knew that school was NOT for me.  I was going to BYU.   Fast Forward to me applying for schools.  My plan was to only apply to BYU.  I had a pretty amazing shot.  I met every qualification.  But something was prodding at me to apply for BYU-I also. Just in case, of course.  By some crazy miracle that I was not accepted for BYU, at least I would have a Plan B. And I am the type of girl to have a Plan A, B, C, D, E, F, and G.  So it felt like a safe approach. I remember sending the final application in February on a Thursday evening.  Three days later, on Sunday, I had been fasting and praying to be accepted to BYU.  I remember saying my prayers last night and feeling as if I should have a more, "Thy will be done attitude. Please lead me and guide me to what you have in store for me."    I would NOT have had that attitude if it wasn't for one of my role models and dearest friend, Vanessa.  She is the epitome of "thy will be done."  I remember her telling me a story of two days before she was supposed to go to UVU, or some college similar to that.  She said a prayer and told Heavenly Father that if she was not suppose to be on this path, direct her where she should be. Anyways, a few minutes later she got a call from a Dental School in Utah that had her information from somewhere.  She has no idea how.  But she took it as a sign and completely changed course.  It inspired me. I am not that trusting, but I hope to be.   So I remember praying to Heavenly Father and it probably went something along the lines of, "Hey. I really, really, really want to go to BYU.  But if by some crazy conspiracy I am not suppose to go there. Let me know where I am suppose to go. And if you could let me know sooner than later, that would be great."  Instantly, after my prayer I felt a prompting. Check your e-mails.  I grabbed my computer and the top e-mail told me there was a letter waiting for me from one of the schools I applied to. I was shocked. I had JUST finished the application Thursday along with thousands of other students?  How was my ENTIRE application processed so fast.  They don't work Saturday and Sunday? I logged into the account, and to my surprise there was an acceptance letter.   From BYU-I.   I so vividly remember thinking, Is this my sign?  Then, just as soon as the thought came to me, I remember shutting my computer and saying. No. No. No. No. NO! NOOOOOO! I am not going there.   And then a month later, the rejection came from BYU.   And a week after that, another letter of acceptance came from BYU-I saying I was accepted to the Winter 2012 semester.  I was accepter in February for a school that started all the way in JANUARY?  I had to wait an entire year!   Great. Now my excuse of, "I am sorry.  I can't be serious with you, I am leaving to BYU in the fall," was shattered. Time to face situations like an adult because my excuses were vanishing.   And.... cue the entrance of Trent into my life. But.  The Lord knows what he was doing.   After my rejection from BYU, I STILL refused to go to BYU-I.  They gave me a paper that showed several steps of how to accept the acceptance letter.  I remember cleaning my room in May, two/three months after my acceptance letter was sent. My intention was to throw it away, but I could not bring myself to do it. It was the strangest thing.  I had a nagging feeling telling me not to do it.  That I was really was still suppose to be there.  So I comprised with the prompting and didn't throw the paper away.  Instead, I put it behind a bunch of my things where I completely ignored it for another two months until I could not deny the Lord any longer and finally signed up as a student for BYU-I.      Fast forward.  Trent and I fell in love and were married in September.  In November, I turned to him and said, "Well. I am suppose to be at BYU-I in January. And since your married to me, I think you are suppose to be there too." So in NOVEMBER, Trent took the A.C.T., applied for BYU-I, and amazingly was accepted... for JANUARY? You guys. Anyone who knows college knows that you don't just sign up for a four year institution a month before it starts and get in the following semester.  We all know this. We signed him up for classes two weeks before school started and two days after Christmas we were in Rexburg, Idaho.   When life has become discouraging, I have held onto this memory. I know with everything inside of me, that were directed and orchestrated by the hand of the Lord to come here.   It makes all the difference when you are where the Lord wants you to be.   And now, it is all coming to an end.  And we are faced with options quicker than I anticipated.    Please, guide this little family to where we need to be.  Send us to a place where we will grow as husband and wife. Where Trent and I can experience help, but continue to lean on each other like we have done these past four years. Send me to a place where I can raise my sweet babies in a morally strong community.   Send us to a place where we can learn from others differences.  Send us where we will meet some of our new greatest friends that we will have for a lifetime.  Send us where you need us to be.   I will try to not be as stubborn this time.