Savannah & Charleston Pre-Trip Confessions.

Trent and I have been planning this trip since January.  I wouldn't suggest it. At the beginning of this year, all i could think about was October. But as October came closer i started to get nervous. I planned and researched and dreamed of this trip for MONTHS. Then about two months before our trip, I stopped. I didn't look at a thing. I didn't plan anything.  I started getting nervous that I was building this up too much. I had these amazing expectations, and what if that trip didn't meet those expectations?  
Another confession: I get major anxiety leaving my house. Short periods, I do okay. Long periods: I'm a wreck. I know in my mind it's foolish for me to worry. And.... I mean, we hardly have anything worth stealing. I would have my computer and camera with me - the most expensive things we own. I try to live a minimalist lifestyle with my wardrobe, so i honestly had 75% of my clothes with me too. 
But I have major anxiety leaving my house. EVERY time i get into my car. I have to stop and go back inside the house to make sure everything is off.  Just today, I made pancakes for the kiddos for breakfast. Two hours later, we all get into the car and we are about to leave to the park and I think, "Did I leave the stove on after breakfast." We had been in the house for TWO hours. Deep down, I know it's off. But i can't leave. I have to go inside the house and touch every burner myself (even the ones I didn't use.) Before we leave for vacations. I go to EVERY outlet in the house and make sure everything is unplugged. Before church, I check my hair tools multiple times to make sure they are off. Even if I checked it before, right before I leave I HAVE to check everything again. Or else I fret and worry the entire time I'm gone - no matter the amount of time. I have a huge phobia of my house burning.  Or someone breaking into my house. Lots of phobias.
So between the anxiety of my house being vacant for a week, the kids being with family (also hesitant - what if some freak accident occurs), and hoping I didn't build up this trip too much -- I was a mess. If you asked me, "Are you excited about the trip." My response was less than enthusiastic. And it shouldn't have been. But although I act nonchalant about things, inside there is usually a storm raging that I am just not ready to admit yet. Hence this post trip confession about my pre-trip anxiety. Now that it's over, I can say that my house did not get damaged, the kids are alive and happy, and our trip was amazing. 
It's like that quote, "I got 99 problems and 86 of them are completely made up scenarios in my head that I am stressing about for no apparent logical reason."

Taking It Easy

The pace is changing in the Thompson home.  Little Learners Box is coming to an end (making that announcement Monday), I'm switching some things around in my life, reorganizing my priorities, and really really trying to focus on these moments of their lives.  Instead of planning to do lists, I'm planning adventures, fill my home with children (lots of babysitting and play dates), and focus on me.
Today our adventure was to the river.  Which I later learned really isn't that clean or sanitary so we probably should never to do it again. 
I got ready for the day. So naturally, we had to document this rare occurrence. 

And this is how every photo turned out except the one above. 

 

Chubby baby hands are the best.

Porter swimming in a very, very dirty river. I'm seriously the worst. In my defense, I thought it would be fine. I'm still learning. 

Y'all these boys are SO dang dirty and gross all the time. I'm shocked they are not sick more. In fact, just thinking about it is sending me into a slight anxiety attack. So new subject. And note to self: make them wash their hands more.

I see lots of visits to San Diego and the Cleveland National Forest (a little closer and a great place for hiking) in our future! 

Boo To Satan.

I've had some sweet moments while studying the scriptures lately. Some personal questions that were answered, and some fun connections that were made. Hopefully I can explain them in this post, but if not, I'll have to in another post.
However, I want to talk about how much I really, really loathe the adversary.
He knows me. Not in unique way like the Savior. But he still knows my weaknesses {they are not hard to find}, and he knows how to exploit those to his advantage.  If I have had a "rough day" with the kids, I want to forego all responsibilities and discipline. No cooking, cleaning, meditation, learning - one of my weaknesses is that I am an "all or nothing" type of lady.  And if I'm not feeling it - I'm not feeling ANY of it. So I can feel that as I was striving to read and study more - the influence of him testing me. He was trying to make my life more hectic, to make me feel out of control so that I would give up all control. Sadly, one day he did get the best of me. 
But one day he didn't.  And I will take any win I can get.
I have been thinking about my sister this week and an experience she had that boils my blood.
My sister, for a Young Women's project, started an Instagram feed where she posted uplifting sayings and quotes from church leaders.  Under her post, she would share an encouraging word to her followers. Lots of "you can do it,"  "remember who you are,"  "He loves you! Don't forget!" and positive sentiments like that.  She had quite a following and I was impressed! I loved reading her testimony daily. I loved that she motivated others to be their best self and to reminded them of their true purpose.
Well, someone had asked to be her friend and turns out, it was a prostitute (or something similar) that had inappropriate pictures.  Ashlyn was disgusted and devastated.  And immediately vowed to never go on Instagram. She deleted Instagram, stopped her personal progress project and chose a different one.  And nothing could change her mind {and I know because I might have tried}.
Maybe she isn't suppose to be on Instagram. I don't really love the hold that social media has on our youth - mainly the fact that they use it to determine their self worth. But I do know that she was a light. She was using social media in a positive way. She was sharing her testimony to hundreds of people and reminding them each day that they were worth it.  And I feel like Satan got involved there. That he sabotaged that testimony from being heard.  
And I hate that. And I loathe him for it.
I decided to start my new determination to study the scriptures by looking up a word.  The first word that came to my mind was "divine nature."  I looked up the word in the Bible Dictionary and it brought me to only one verse that talked about divine nature together.  
2 Peter 1:4.  "Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust."
I looked to the footnotes for the words "divine" and "nature." For divine it says Earth, Purpose of. And for nature it brings you to 1 Samuel 10:6, "And the Spirit of the Lord will come upon thee, and thou shalt prophesy with them, and shalt be turned into another man."
My thoughts went along the lines of: The purpose of our time here on Earth is to develop ourselves. There were many character traits that followed the verse that I read in Peter and it also talked about our calling and election being made sure. So I thought now is the time to develop these characteristics and when I do, I will be turned into a better version of myself, one that resembles our Heavenly Father because that is the end goal, right?
The sweet moment came when Trent and I discussed what I had learned together. He reminded me that the footnotes could also be suggesting that the Earth has a divine nature - which it does! The Earth is to become the celestial kingdom {read about there here}. Therefore, the divine nature of Earth is to turned into the Celestial Kingdom.  Well, if that is the whole purpose of Earth, I feel like the same could be said about us.  We are similar to Earth because we are meant to become celestial beings and live with God in the Celestial Kingdom. A fun relation that we put together.
What I think heaven was trying to remind me was - what is the end goal Chelsea? What is your divine nature? What are you working towards?  I needed that perspective to be brought to my attention again. Heaven knew I needed that. As I started this journey of "studying instead of reading" -  He reminded me of the why. Why I study. Why I pray. Why I mother. Why I love. Why I am here.
It ties into my divine nature.
I have some other questions that go along with that topic that I am studying. And there have been some other sweet moments I will have to share, but
Yay for Learning!
And Boo to Satan. 

My Babies.

My sweet babies.

They really crack me up. Porter only wants to be in a picture if it is suppose to be of Brooks. But if we were to do pictures with just him? No way. 
Porter, right now you are a lover of nursery rhymes and children's songs. You can play instruments louder than any two year old I know. AND you can make up your own songs. That one is my favorite. Sometime the tune is original. Sometimes it's a familiar tune, but you change the words. Either way works for me and sends me laughing.
You can't stop moving. Yeah, I know we say this about all of our kids. But its not an exaggeration with you. When you watch TV, you hop from one couch to the next while watching it, or you switch couch cushions, or go from watching it sitting, to watching it upside down. 
IT DRIVES ME CRAZY.
And when your in trouble and I have to hold your face to look at mine - you will start moving your hands, or shake your legs.  Oh - that sends me straight to LoonyVille. 
But as so many people have pointed out.  You really are the sweetest little boy. You love getting dirty, you love playing ball. Your current favorites are baseball and soccer. And we just bought you a soccer net to practice your skills.
You say the BEST prayers. And sometimes I can't believe your only 2! I love you little man.

 Oh my cute little Rookie. 

You are the perfect addition to this crazy town.

You are busy, busy, busy.  You love to explore - but Mama has to be within your sight range.  You love sitting on my lap, but also playing with the older kids. You took four steps the other day and we were all thrilled.  You are very vocal about your opinions and want to be heard. Sometimes you just need a good cuddle letting you know your world truly is alright. You are just the right mix of everything. I love seeing your personality develop.  You really are a happy baby and I love love LOVE you. With everything I can. With all that I am. I love you my Brooks!

Lately, I have felt the need to spend more time with my babes.  I know it sounds weird because we are together constantly, but I feel like I need more quality + individual time with them.  It's funny because I have had this pressing feeling about spending more time playing with my kids verse just being busy. Like I said before, we go out a lot. But I need more time interacting with them personally. And like always, I kept putting off that feeling until I had a chat with a friend who was starting the very same thing with her kids. And I knew it was by no coincidence that conversation had occurred.

So I no longer make the Little Learners Box from my house - my partner puts the boxes together and I work on inventory, orders, customer service, creating and order activities, and that side of the business. So basically I've signed up for my own service and she is sending me boxes each month and Porter and I are going to do that together. 

Until then we are doing our individual time while Brooks naps in the morning after chores. It usually involves coloring and playing with his animals. All good things in my book.

With Brooks, its a little trickier to get personal time with him. I can while Porter is in preschool, but I also try to run errands during that time.  It's been sporadic, but hopefully I can narrow down a specific time for my little Rookie!

Love you little ones.